Grainne O’Malley

She was the only woman I ever knew who lived in a man’s world successfully. I loved her as only a young girl can, with innocence and complete devotion. For that brief summer she was all that consumed my world. Grainne O’Malley was a woman like no other. She lived and succeeded in a mans world like few women could. We met the summer my mum finally won the battle to visit her family in Ireland. It had been an ongoing battle in between my mum and my Da for as long as I can remember. My mum, Neasa, had wanted to return to her homeland since I was a babe in arms and my Da, Liam, always had a good reason to not make the journey. She had finally triumphed by threatening to take me and go by herself, disappearing in the night, never to be seen again. Since Liam was crazy about her and he would do almost anything to make her happy, he finally gave in [some say that she enchanted him with the fairy magic that runs in women of our family, but that is another story for another time]. It had taken many years to convince him to return to Ireland, the last time he was there was when he was wed to Neasa and the stories from that journey are still told. My cousin Maitiu is famous for his telling of the first time my Da and his met.

So we were finally in Ireland, in County Waterford along the coast where my mams family lived. As a young girl I was allowed to run free for most of that summer, exploring everywhere possible.

My favorite place to go was a small cove that no one else seemed to go. It was my own little world, full of fairies, mermaids and all the fanciful stories that I loved, free from all cares of the world outside. I knew that in a few short years I would be wed and have to leave my childish world behind. My mum had encouraged my whimsical ways, telling me that I was part fey, not entirely of this world. I believed her with all my heart. I was a happy child, but not always comfortable around others, my view of the world was unusual and I have always been stubborn, believing I was right.

One day in my little cove a stranger came. She was tall, a large woman, especially to me, as I have always been small. I hid behind a rock and observed her. She pretended not to notice me, but my curiosity won out and I approached her as she sat upon my rock, proud as a noble.  She was dressed in simple garments, but all made of the finest materials. Fine linen and supple leather, not what a common woman would wear. Even at that young age, I could recognize that she was someone to honor. She said to me “pray pardon little mistress, I do not mean to intrude upon your cove, but it is such a lovely spot to watch the sea. Might I sit for a while and enjoy your hospitality?” I was so taken aback that she would address me as an adult and not just do what she wanted to, after all, I was just a child, I had no right to object. She then pulled out some food and offered to share it with me, talking gently to me the while. She told me her name was Grainne and I later learned that she had been watching me in my cove for days and envied the freedom that I had. As we broke bread, she talked and told me of herself, asking little of me but to listen. Grainne told me of her life, she lived much as a man, in charge of her own destiny, letting no man rule her. Her life had been hard, but I admired her so. She was brave, strong and fearless, so very different than me, who was afraid even of the dark night. She was different than anyone I have ever known. Before she left that day, I gave her one of my treasures, told her it was a gift to me from the Fairie queen and that she should have it now. Grainne thanked me and told me she would keep it always. Her biggest gift to me would be herself. She called me many pet names over the time we spent, on that day she dubbed me “Siofra” telling me it meant elf in Irish. I was still learning the language and she loved teaching me.

 Over the summer we met almost daily, spending time talking. I did not understand that I was an escape for her from the pressure of her life. She broadened my world, told me of places and people I would never see, Convinced me [much to my da’s chagrin] that no woman should be ruled by a man. A few years later this would cause no small amount of problems as my Da attempted to marry me off. I refused many suitors as I took a page from Grainne’s book and lived as I wanted accepting no man as master. She taught me that men and women are equals and as such that I deserved respect.  My poor Da never did understand. He never knew that I met with Grainne, he would have been scandalized by her. She was a woman that many men did not understand and therefore feared.
Grainne encouraged me to learn all that I could, she taught me that knowledge was power. I wanted so to be like her and listened to everything she said. She taught me all that I could absorb that summer. She gave me a glimpse of the world thru her eyes.

There was a sorrow about her. One day she told me of a young man she had loved, Dara she called him, because he was strong as an oak. He was handsome, tall and wild. Her family would not consent to marriage, so she had run off to be with him, breaking all convention. He was killed when the ship he was captain of was caught in a storm. Dara was securing the sails when he and several crew were swept overboard. Grainne took over as captain, demanding the men take her orders, her strength of will winning the day. How I admired her, to be able to make men listen and submit to her will.

She told me that there are many ways to make men listen, not all women could succeed as she did, by taking the world by storm. Grainne taught me not only history, but she taught me of being a woman. I learned many of the realities of life from her, not directly, but thru her stories. I also learned how to be strong and sure.

She changed my life. Without her influence, I would be a different woman.

My father never did know that one of the biggest influences of my life was the pirate queen, Grainne O’Malley.

Grainne loved to tell me stories, like the story of my name, Fionnuala.

The original spelling of my name was Fionnghuala, ‘fionn’ meaning white, fair and ‘guala’ meaning shoulder, so “white shoulder”. In Irish legend, Fionnghala was one the four children of Lir who were transformed into swans for a period of 900 years. She loved to tease me and tell me that as much as I loved the ocean I would be turned into a fish!

I wanted to be like her. She would tell me “Nuala- life is hard enough for a woman, do not make your life more difficult than it has to be. I have lead an interesting life, but not an easy one. Enjoy being a woman, find the happiness that I have not.”

Because Grainne was who she was, our friendship had to be kept a secret. Even my dear cousin Maitiu would have been incensed knowing that she was in the area. He had lost many casks of ale and whiskey to the grand & glorious Grainne. She was a schemer, clever and proud. To hide beneath her enemies noses gave her great delight.

The last time I saw her was toward the end of that wonderful summer, we had grown very close by this time, I wanted her to take me with her when she sailed next. Even though she cared for me and enjoyed my company, she would not consider it, told me my mam’s heart would be broken, that no letter of explanation would make up for my loss. She told me that she would be leaving soon, she had outstayed her time here. I wept and told her I would never forget her, with all of the passion of a young girls heart. Grainne reassured me that we would meet again, if not in this life, then in the next. As she was talking, we heard men’s voices coming to the cove. Quickly Grainne hid in the small cave, disappearing completely. My Uncles and many men I did not know came into view, they asked me who I had been talking to and I quickly answered, “to the fairie queen of course, do be careful to not step on her hem Uncle”. I made up a story to amuse and distract them, knowing that they were looking for my Grainne, that they would not let her remain free. They already thought me a bit of a strange child, so they went along with my story and left the cove. I continued to play and did not go near the small sea cave so as not to give away the hiding place, just in case they continued to watch. I had to be brave to protect her, it was my first lesson in using my talents to get what I desired in life. In this case, of course, the safety of Grainne was upper most in my mind.

She had still not come out when I left to help with the evening meal, I am certain she hid until darkness fell.

When I went back to the cove the next day there was no sight of my beloved Grainne. I have never seen her again in this life, but hold fast to her promise that we will meet again. She left me a gift in the sea cove, a silver coin on a leather cord with the crescent moon on one side that she wore next to her heart. I wear it still in honor of the astonishing woman I met that summer.

This is a story that I have kept in my heart all these years and will carry the memories of that summer to my grave.

By Fionnula MacPhearson